Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Oh, crap.

Oh, the crap that is in my head. I have been writing in a journal, sort of a morning pages style of thing, although I do it at any time of day the mood strikes. I find that it helps immensely to calm the tornado of "I want to do this" and "I have to do that" clutter that fills my brain at any given moment. Writing about it made me realize that I already know what I want and/or need to do and I don't have to keep a to-do list in my head. The constant sort of 'list making' in my head makes me tired before I even start, so by writing in a journal about the chatter (NOT writing another to-do list) is like fine-tuning a signal and getting rid of the static. It makes getting through the day easier because I can do one thing at a time and move from one thing to another much more easily, with more effortless energy and with much less resistance.

Another thing I am going to try for this week is to not watch TV. I have a TV on my desk @ work and I turn it on as soon as I come in each morning. There's nothing really that I want or like to watch on daytime TV so I end up watching reruns of shows I've already seen. Plus, I believe that having a TV on all day sets up having a TV on all night. I didn't even own a TV for ten years, now I flip it on as soon as I walk in the door. And it has become clearer and clearer to me that at the end of a show, I often think "Why did I watch that? It was pretty boring." And yet, I keep watching. And the programs I watch! Jay-zus! True crime and blood n guts. And shows like Criminal Minds and L&O: SVU, holy socks! The subjects that they use for entertainment on these shows are appalling. I stopped watching SVU years ago because I thought it was heinous that they used sexual assault for entertainment. I never watched Criminal Minds until recently and wow, it's gruesome. It's too bad that the crimes they show are so vile, because I do like the characters. For the most part.

Anyway, part of the reason I'm trying this is that I've been in a funky space since coming back from Paris and I hunt out the really dark stuff on TV to watch. Dianne Sylvan in writing about Vampire Diaries on her blog referred to "the sheer volume of WTFery in this show" which made me laugh and also was the perfect phrase for what's been going on in my head. The sheer volume of WTFery is making me...bored now. So a little experiment is needed. It's already bearing fruit. I've been thinking about a blog post for several days but haven't done anything about it. Today, no TV, new post.

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