Progress

Sometimes, it feels as though I will never be done with my apartment renovations and that I am not accomplishing anything. Time to list everything I’ve done so far, in a somewhat linear manner:
I started by shredding old documents and taking electronic waste and hazardous materials (household cleaning chemicals and old paint, trying to go green here) to recycling.
I gave an armoire to a friend and donated my entertainment center to Out of the Closet. I also donated books to a thrift store and a bunch of miscellaneous items to a charity yard sale for doggie rescue.
The place has been painted and the new carpet laid down, so now, the furniture is back in place.
I have put all the books back in my two bookcases and put away most of my clothing.
I have put all the furniture and plants back on my balcony. I’ve actually done quite a bit when I read this. It helps to clear my headspace to organize my thoughts on what I want to do next.

Feeling sorry for myself

Recently, I became aware of how I feel sorry for myself. For example, I have a skin condition that comes and goes. There are topical treatments for it that help, but I can’t use it a lot because of side effects. And I’ve noticed that the better I eat, the better my skin feels and looks. But during a recent flare-up, I was having a “Why meeee?” moment, when I realized that I was having a self-pity party.
So I decided to just go with it and allow myself to indulge in how unfair it was. I gave myself a time limit, in this case, five minutes. I sat down and just went with the mood. After about, oh maybe 30 seconds, I started laughing. And got over myself.
Next time I start to go on about the unfairness of it all, I’m going to give myself a time limit to indulge. I’ll bet the same thing happens again. Self-pity really only works if you resist it. If you allow, it goes away really, really fast.

Giving myself credit where credit is due.

You ever get down on yourself for not doing the stuff on your to-do list? Or for not working out, or for eating junk food, or for any one of the eight zillion you “should” be doing? Me too. So I decided to fight back against those voices in my head that tell me I’m lazy, I’m wasting my life, I’m this, I’m that. First of all, when I start to trash myself, I will stop it immediately. All those nasty little voices do not pay any rent, so they are getting booted. (And no, I don’t ‘hear’ voices. This is all the negative crap that we all learn over the years from various sources. I’m not crazy. And I’m not playing their game anymore).So I decided that I will start noticing all the things that I get done, that I accomplish. Could be finishing all the things on my to-do list for that day. Could be taking the day for myself and doing whatever the hell I want that day, with no feeling of wasting the day.On Sunday, I did six loads of laundry, went through several boxes and selected stuff to donate to a charity yard-sale, vacuumed, gave Miss May her sub-q fluids, prepped my breakfast and lunch to take to work with me the next day.Last night, I finished my laundry and worked on my budget for the next several months. I have several trips coming up and some new furniture to buy. I want to do all of these things without going into debt, hence the budget.I will continue to post these updates. If you have finished a chore, or sat and read or watched something that you enjoyed or even did nothing at all, give yourself a pat on the back. Those nasty little voices hate that and will soon fade off into the distance.